


so how come no one wants me?

by lonelyheartsclub_com



Category: Murder Most Unladylike Series - Robin Stevens
Genre: F/M, Gen, alfred has issues :)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:01:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29049585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lonelyheartsclub_com/pseuds/lonelyheartsclub_com
Summary: after a science lesson gone wrong, and alfred lashing out at his caretakers, they threaten to send him back to hong kong. it's then that they realise why he got sent over in the first place.
Relationships: Alfred Cheng & Hazel Wong, Vincent Wong/Jie Jie Wong
Kudos: 9





	so how come no one wants me?

Alfred almost felt scared as his teacher shrieked, "Out of my classroom, Alfred Cheng!" 

He mocked her behind her back as everyone laughed, but as the door shut, he looked into the other classroom and willed himself not to cry. Fuck. Alfred didn't want to get in trouble with Vince and Jie Jie, because he could gradually see them getting more and more disappointed with him as they returned home from his school an hour earlier than they were supposed to, him in the backseat and Hazel's hand on his, reassuring him that they weren't mad.

"Again, Zhi Xiang?" Vincent asked, leaning against his Rolls Royce, Jie Jie on his arm in a polite, societal way. Alfred nodded and said no more, ducking into the car.

Jie Jie and Vincent didn't let him run up to his room this time. They'd usually frown and knock at his door an hour later, offering food and a chance to talk. He'd take the food, but he'd take a hard pass on actually talking to them about his problems and what was bothering him. They stood there, ramrod straight with looks of disappointment on their faces. Vincent cleared his throat, and Alfred knew he was about to lecture him. "You can't keep doing this. You were sent out to England because-"

"Don't tell me why my family decided to distance themselves from me. I'd like to hear of something I don't already know about." Alfred hissed, and it came out harsher than intended.

"That wasn't what I was about to say. I was about to say that-"

"And I'm trying to say that whatever my family told you, it was a lie. They sent me out here because they don't want the disappointment of a son that they got. Because they got me."

"Cheng Zhi Xiang, who on earth told you that?" Jie Jie snapped, a frown on her face. Alfred knew she cared for him. At this point, Jie Jie Wong was more of a mother to Alfred than his own mother was, in a strange sort of way.

"I can do the fucking maths." he snapped, and he could feel the pinpricks behind his eyes. "They were gifted with a daughter, and then when the daughter turned 14, he decided he didn't want to be a girl anymore."

"You're transgender, Alfred. We know, and we love you regardless." Jie Jie said, and Vincent nodded.

"Well, _how come they don't want me?_ They're supposed to be my fucking parents!" he snapped.

Vincent frowned. "Not everyone's parents are good people, Cheng Zhi Xiang."

"Don't call me that. Just call me Zhi Xiang, I don't wish to be tied down to my parents by my last name," 

They nodded.

The three of them fell into a roaring silence that slashed at Alfred, and he shuffled uncomfortably as his aunt and uncle stared him down, dark eyes cutting through his soul and dissecting his person. "Why do you behave that way, Zhi Xiang?" Vincent asks, a gleam in his dark eyes.

"What?"

"You get into trouble at school. Is it for fun? To make your friends laugh and grin?"

Alfred said nothing. It was a question he hoped he'd never come across, because it was one he'd snap and answer immediately. He looked Jie Jie and Vincent in the eyes, observing the fine details of his caretakers' faces.

He looked them in the eyes for five seconds before letting himself cry, the pinprick at the back of his throat choking him, and he fell to his knees and began to cry into his hands. Jie Jie came up to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and saying, _"You can cry, it's alright, Zhi Xiang."_ in Cantonese, occasionally slipping into Mandarin despite them being two completely different languages. 

His father was sneering at him, in his mind's eye. Saying he was too weak to be a real man, and he was still a girl, because real men didn't cry. 

"It's because I want people to pay attention to me. I flip the teacher off, everyone turns to me and laughs. The teachers acknowledge me. I'm not just some random boy they give a half smile to in the corridors, I'm the person who's disrespected one of their coworkers. You and Ma, you glare at me, but you tell me to sit down in the car and then we go home and later Ma makes hotpot and knocks on my door, asking me if I'm okay and if I want some." He'd called Jie Jie Ma, but he didn't care. Jie Jie was a better mother than June Wong, or Marjorie Cheng. "People notice I'm there. I'm not invisible, which is what I usually am. No one's there when I get home. No one asks how my day was. When you guys have to come and get me for misconduct, you see me. I'm able to drown out the bad thoughts with the temporary shame and humiliation that your disapproving looks give me," Alfred explained, burning all over with disappointment in himself. 

"Alfred." Jie Jie said, moving her hand to his. "We'll always pay attention to you."

"Yeah, well they didn't, so I think I get to be a little paranoid from time to time." Alfred joked darkly, earning a nudge from Vincent. 

"Want a hug?" Jie Jie asked, dusting her pretty _cheongsam_ off and standing up. Alfred fell into her arms, and it was just then that he realised how much he missed maternal hugs. His mother had never been particularly big on affection, and their family showed love by smiling just a little wider for the camera. But when he was very young, his mother would make him sweet tea, and they'd talk about their days, and they were very close back then. That was when Marjorie was very young, and she had a carefree smile and long, dark hair that she curled. It would always tickle Alfred's cheeks whenever she swept him up into a big hug singing, _"There's nothing I won't do for you, my darling, you, are what the world stands upon,"_ in a very pretty voice.

But that was far too long ago. 

Jie Jie had filled that void in his heart. She made him sweet tea, and she hugged him, and she had long hair she didn't bother to pin up, but instead she curled it. 

Vincent wrapped his arms around the two of them, and they were all surprised to feel another pair of arms around their waists. "Move over, dad. You're all so tall- ah, there we go! I'm in the middle." It was Hazel. 

"Sorry, but I heard Alf crying and that's not acceptable." She hugged him tight. 

"You absolute piece of work." Alfred joked, and Hazel beamed up at him, so he booped her on the nose. "What are we gonna do with you?"

"I thought we talked about not booping me on the nose, Alf."

"Sorry, but you're so tiny!" he booped her nose again. "It's just so fun to do it!"

"How about I kick you in the shins-"

"Fung Ying, behave." Vincent warned. Alfred stuck his tongue out at her. 

"Come on, Alf. Let's go play Just Dance. I think I've got the choreo to Rasputin down, so you better watch out!" she said, pulling him out of the tight circle that had formed. 

"Nuh uh, I'm still way better at that one that you. You haven't mastered the dance. Also, I was just gonna wallow in my sorrows to Ultraviolence." she gasped loudly and shook her head. 

"I know how much you love Florida Kilos, but absolutely not. No wallowing in sorrows, especially not to Lana Del Rey songs." she warned, and Alfred frowned.

"Come on, Alf! You're a slowpoke," she joked, running out of the family room singing Rasputin very loudly. 

"The lady demands I play Just Dance with her." he smiles at his parents, before walking out of the room.

Alfred never really saw the Chengs as family. Not the way he saw the Wongs as family. Vince was the one that gave him a 20 at his 15th and taught him how to shave whilst his father was out gambling, Jie Jie was the one to hug him and sing to him in Cantonese and Mandarin and she'd taught him basic cooking and went through her multiple family recipes for him, and Hazel was the one he saw as his sister and played Just Dance with at 3am whilst their parents shouted at them to turn it down, and Rose and May were the ones he had vowed to protect with everything in him, and Teddy was the one he'd sworn to be a good older brother to. 

The Wongs were the ones he had family game nights with. Vince would always be fuming when Alexander Arcady showed up on their doorstep, since he always played as Hazel's partner. Alfred would have to make sure Alex wasn't pulling any funny business, ("Alfred, son, I want you to keep a lookout. Arcady's hands travel too low, or he whispers in Fung Ying's ears one too many times and we throw him out, understood?") and Jie Jie was the one that would have to wipe away at her tears of laughter as Alfred got question after question right whilst Hazel fumed. 

The Wongs were his family, because family was what he made it.


End file.
